I went camping with Jeff over the weekend and it was so fun, I got grounded as a result, but it was fun anyhow. Jeff and I got a chance to talk about everything that we felt the need to discuss, and we worked out a lot of the doubts that either of us have about our relationship. We have made it very clear that we care for each other, but we aren't looking for forever. At least I'm not. I think that he still feels that it can last for that long, but despite my feeling toward him, I KNOW that I am not mature enough emotionally or mentally to feel as strongly for anyone. Maybe I can grow to, but for now, I am content with things just the way they are. I have been so very comfortable with him lately, more so than I was before. I think that is partly due to my very relaxed, comfortable friendship with Steven. He makes it very easy for me to be comfortable with myself (*thank you Scuba Steve :)*). I think that because of that very relaxed environment, it makes it easier for me to see that I can just be myself, and to understand that people are not as easily offended as I always thought they were. Oh man, I care for Jeff so very much. The only concern I have with how things are now, is that now that I told him that I love him, and he said it back, he has a tendancy to over use it. He says it all the time to the point that I often wonder if he is saying it just to say it. I hope that that is not the case. I would be crushed if it was. But yes, I can see this relationship lasting for a while now. I couldn't before, but I think that had a lot to do with not being able to talk about our problems and people jumping to conclusions before giving the other person a chance to explain what was really going on. I think that we can have a more successful relaionship now that the lines of communication are open. If it doesn't work out, then I think I will survive, but if it does that is definately good too. I love him, I really do. I just hope that I am not underestimating what I am getting myself into. Rather pestimistic, I know. I just think it would be best to be cautious putting my self into relationships and situations like this. Maybe I am just afraid of letting myself get hurt. Either way, I really want to take things very slow with Jeff, just to be sure that this is right. But I have to go work on school stuff now. XoXo. Bye.
Love always and forever,
Heather